It started out, simple enough. I was sitting on the porch earlier this afternoon, keeping Luiz company while he put the stretcher bars together for his canvas, for The Rose. This is a highly spiritual painting for him, loosely inspired by the rose, as represented in the Dark Tower series. I say loosely, because since he's read that book, he's been tracking down and researching rose lore, anywhere he can, adding to his knowledge bank...and my own. But, the act of putting the wood together, and me hanging out on the porch with my cards seemed mundane enough.
We were idly discussing my conversation with our friend Schuyler, last night. I suspect that he is starting to think I'm crazy. He's very scientific, very grounded in tangible realities, a natural skeptic. I was talking about how we both suffer from a pretty heavy inferiority complex, he's empowered by fitness, working out, molding and shaping his body, it's his *thing*. I confessed, that I feel most empowered when I'm holding a deck. With the cards in my hand, I feel very connected to God/dess, and quite ready to handle anything. They've taken on almost a talismanic feel. I find myself holding them, or moving the bag around in my hand, during troubling or stressful times. I pour tons of my energy in these cards, and sometimes I need to take some back.
Schuyler doesn't really hold to all that. He's open minded enough to say "if it feels good, then do it" but, he doesn't believe in Tarot, because it's not provable. Arguably, he has very little exposure to Tarot, and similar things. I'm not going to like, attempt to convert, or argue with him. Mainly, I was concerned if he thinks I'm crazy. I've always been very tight about my spirituality, only recently coming out of the closet about my beliefs, my usage of divination, all that. We've been friends for seven years, and only recently do I let that sort of thing creep into our normally deep conversations. I just feel comfortable. Is it misplaced? Does he think I'm a wackjob? Naturally, asked the cards.
I asked "Does Schuyler think I'm crazy, when I speak of spiritual things?" The card I pulled (from The Sacred Rose, naturally) was the 10 of wands. It means he doesn't think I'm crazy, so much as the conversations run a little too heavy for him, at times. We have been getting much more existentialist, lately, and he might feel overwhelmed. I then asked "How should I steer our conversations, then, in the future?" Ace of Pents. To me, the Pentacles symbolize magic in the mundane, things in the realm of the physical, things you can touch, see, earn, and shape. Money, your body, dirt, and everything in between...which, amusingly enough, is what we talk about normally. Maybe not so much "magic in the mundane" but Ace of Pents tells me that it's okay to bring a little of that in. We do have deep psychological, sometimes philosophical conversations, encompassing the meaning of life, and happiness, and what it is to love and be loved. This is all good stuff, for topics. He shies away from speaking of divinity, the cosmos, intuition, psychic abilities, anything he can't touch, he can't trust.
I was quite satisfied, with those answers. Put the cards aside, and just continued to soak in the day.
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