Then it goes deeper...

This is the second part to the post below, detailing some deep thoughts, and heavy conversation we had on the porch, today. It involves, The Rose, God/dess, spirituality, and different views.


Luiz got done stretching the canvas, and somehow missed me doing these two cards. He asked me to pull them out again, so we could talk about it. I pulled the Ace of Pents again, and he helped me form more ideas about it. Then, on impulse, I pulled all the Aces from the deck, and laid them out in a square. I said "It feels good to look at these Aces, all together, like this. It reminds me that all our gifts are from the Goddess. All of these are in her realm, and hers to give." He looked at me askance.

Seeing all the elements emerge from the center of the rose, what a wonderful visual trigger. To me, the rose has always equalled Goddess, even as a child, before I had a name for Her. I never felt safer than when I was sitting on the grass in my mother's rose garden. I've never felt more nurtured and cared for, then when I was at my grandmother's side, carefully making the rose hips into tea, or jam. I have never felt more loved, and cherished, then when first my father, then my husband presented me with gifts of roses. Roses on my birthdays, roses when I was in the hospital giving birth to my son, roses for passion. Roses, from my earliest consciousness have always had something to do with Mother/Daughter/Lover.

Luiz, in the past year, has been on a spiritual journey. In a nutshell (and, he can go into detail about this on his blog, in fact, I think he should...) he's moved from strict, conservative Christian fundamentalist background, to, well, who knows, because he's not there yet. He's learning, and reaching, and has broken out of that, and trying every day to leave that behind. He longs for structure, leans heavily on patriarchial ideas, thinks of God/dess in highly specialized gender roles.

He views them in some sort of hierarchy that I couldn't begin to guess at, but leaves Goddess as a "sister" figure, to man, and God as THE FATHER. That, like, denigrates everything I believe in. I'd be lying if I said it didn't offend me somewhat. It might have to do with his presentation of his ideas, and how he packages then. On the other hand, I must remind myself that he has come a very long way just recognizing that GOD THE FATHER of his past, and who he emulates has a feminine side.

I won't discredit or brush his notions off, but I felt like he had a longass way to go in recognizing the equality, and the balance, and what the Divine Union really means. That everything is in the realm of the Goddess. Everything is also in the realm of the God. He's got very structured, very hierarchial roles in mind. I don't normally argue with people's notions of divinity, but even he admits it, he's not really experienced, or learned about all the aspects of the feminine. He comes from a lifetime of opression, being told "cower at the father's feet, fear HIM, fear displeasing HIM, you are human, made of dust, nothing in HIS mighty presence". Which is...er, cough, bullshit. I could do another huge blog entry on the many levels of bullshit that statement is.

Either way, those four Aces, laid out like that, not only filled me with such joy, and reminded me that all gifts are from our great Mother, but it opened up a huge spiritual discussion between Luiz and I. I feel better knowing how he looks at things, and that maybe he'll broaden his experiences more, to form a more educated, world-view, opinion. Because that's really all I ever ask of anyone. Form your own opinions, please, do not follow what I do, it's my path. Just learn. Expose yourself to cultures from every Aeon, from every corner of the Earth, then come exchange ideas about the God, the Goddess, earth, air, fire, water, the divine union, and everything therein.

Illuminating

It's so late, but my mind is tick tick tick ticking. I should drink small, intense doses of caffeine more often, at night. But, for practicality's sake, it should not be a Sunday night...



I had a whole evening with friends, and the cards, tonight. It was an effervescent evening, good food, lots of laughs, and some amazing readings. I read for these folks, a lot. It's become just a normal event, every time we hang out, it gets conversation flowing, and helps us relate to each other better, on a friendship level. Of course, we learn a lot about each other, as well.



I've been reading for other people, in various ways, with different forms of divination, for years. To this day, (literally) I still have moments that shock and amaze me. We were playing sort of a game, with the cards, today "what question is in my head? Pull a card an answer it" I use that method for privacy, too. Tonight, it was more lighthearted. Suzanne asked me to draw a card, for a question she was holding in her mind. I shut out all the room-chatter, and formed a bridge from my third-eye chakra, to hers, it was so "there" I could almost see it as an indigo...er, haze, no that's not right, thread isn't quite right either. Bridge will have to do. An arc of violet-indigo-energy...anyway, I did that, then drew the card. I pulled the Hanged Man, and said "Wait. That's all I have to tell you, just wait around, and think on it."


Her question? "Should we get going, and let Lisa and Irv get some sleep?" We were all comfortable and cozy, great conversation, good food, and coffee...no one really wanted to budge. who cared that it was edging on midnight. It was cute, the card showed her that we really meant that, and weren't just being polite.


Usually, when I sit with a querant, I try to get our energies on the same page, swirling and harmonizing them. Sometimes, it's like trying to jockey a team of wild horses. Some people just bring all manner of zingy, all over the place, energy. I've never outright tried to hop over and bridge to them, I've never thought of it, never tried it. I can see that it might expose me to all manner of good or bad mojo. I can also see it being exceptionally draining, if done too often in a short time. I wouldn't try it with someone I didn't trust inherently, nor would I use it for much else besides reading for them. It does get me thinking about myriad possibilites, though.

Getting to know Sacred Rose -really-

I've been thinking about this post since last night, and throughout this morning. It's something I've been procrastinating about, in fact.



I tried doing it "by the book". Like I said, I was away from Tarot for a bit, and the Sacred Rose was my first new deck since my hiatus, so with that, I said "Lisa, you've got to really dedicate yourself to this, and journal, and research and meditate." So, I tried, I really did. I floundered. Who's kidding who? I suck at rigid. I suck at by the book. I journal well, as long as it's in a freeform stream of consciousness kind of way. I lose at lists and bullet points. I figured I better just clear this up now, before I harsh my chi, and lay the deck and the blog aside for a long time. I'm flighty that way, it doesn't take much for me to put myself off of something.

So last night, I grabbed her, and started reading with her. This is one of the most intuitive decks that I have. In the new deck spread, the card that came out that represents the Sacred Rose is The Magician.

I spent a lot of time just flipping cards, we were walking through the Universe last night, and I learned a great deal about the deck, that no amount of rigid journaling will ever teach me. She has professed her will to work with me, and replace one of my most well used decks, for awhile. I've laid aside the Robin Wood, as my working deck, and picked up Miss Rose. Yes, it's very feminine, mystical, magical, laden with secrets, sometimes she has a confusing way. She has a wry sense of humor, and she's a bit overbearing, and apparently does not take well to being rigidly cataloged. Well and so.

Here's to a long, crazy, working relationship with The Sacred Rose Tarot.

I'm going to hide the posts down there, of my earnest attempts at journaling, so as not to confuse myself, later in life.

After a long break...

I had a bout of badness, with Tarot. One weekend, it went from party entertainment, to asking serious questions in a forum that probably wasn't right for the mood of the inquiries. It wound up becoming awkward, and causing bad feelings. The lesson I took from that icky night was this; always clear it with everyone in the room, if someone asks a question pertaining to them. Always get permission, don't just ask the cards random stuff about people in the room, without their blessings.

Along around that time, Luiz and I were both starting to draw cards, when we were arguing, or disagreeing about something. Like "Listen, I know I'm right, let me ask the cards, and show you" Petty stuff, in retrospect. It led to a lot of second guessing, of ourselves, and the cards.

It all came to a head, when I asked the cards some questions one night, because Luiz was late getting home, and I was concerned. Apparently, I was suspicious, too because whatever I pulled up I read wrong, thought he was lying to me, and it caused all manner of bad feelings. I didn't read them all exactly wrong...it was more like I read them right, but to the far extreme of my fears, if that makes sense. I'm not going to get into things here, it's longsince over.

The point is, I laid the cards aside after that. I'd been overwhelmed with new decks, misinterpretations, bad feelings, and a buncha negative woo.

I think I needed the break, though. I went for over a month without reading them, or even looking through any of my decks. I took the deck off my desk, and the one out of my purse, and just laid it all aside. Afterwhile, I began to crave contact with them. I began to think about them a lot, stare at the box, eventually pine for them. I still wasn't exactly ready, though. It was tough diving back in, I felt out of touch, intimidated, overwhelmed.

Not sure what got me to drag them back out, but I did. They slid back in my hand like I was born with them. Shuffling them still felt as natural as breathing. Very comforting.

I must have needed it, beacause since I've picked them back up, I'm reading much more naturally. I struggle less, it doesn't drain me like it used to, and the answers just happen. The other night, I was tired, but pulled a few cards for Luiz, and it felt like I was just making shit up about them. Turns out, I was dead on.

So glad to have them back in my life, in such a big way. So glad to have turned something negative into a series of lessons. Not to read for people present, unless they give specific permission, not to use them to defend my side of an arguement, and not to ask questions that I can ask someone in person.

New deck coming in the mail...Sacred Rose. More about that in another post, probably. I'm starting to get tired.

Falling Into Complacency

Sometimes, I short change myself, or people very close to me. I'll do a spread, and a card that comes up often pops up, and I gloss it over by saying something like "And here we see the Magician. Well, we all know what that means!" It's easy to just chalk up the common cards as a given, sort of a marker in any situation. It happens most when I lean on one deck too much, because it's the same image, day after day, sometimes. When I stop to think about this, it bothers me, because as we all know...it might NOT mean the same thing, in fact, I owe it to myself and my querant to kick that out of my mind, and read as fresh as though it's something I've never seen before.

Swapping decks around seems to boot my ass out of this rut. Perhaps it's time to sock the Robin Wood away for a bit, and do something different.