After a long break...

I had a bout of badness, with Tarot. One weekend, it went from party entertainment, to asking serious questions in a forum that probably wasn't right for the mood of the inquiries. It wound up becoming awkward, and causing bad feelings. The lesson I took from that icky night was this; always clear it with everyone in the room, if someone asks a question pertaining to them. Always get permission, don't just ask the cards random stuff about people in the room, without their blessings.

Along around that time, Luiz and I were both starting to draw cards, when we were arguing, or disagreeing about something. Like "Listen, I know I'm right, let me ask the cards, and show you" Petty stuff, in retrospect. It led to a lot of second guessing, of ourselves, and the cards.

It all came to a head, when I asked the cards some questions one night, because Luiz was late getting home, and I was concerned. Apparently, I was suspicious, too because whatever I pulled up I read wrong, thought he was lying to me, and it caused all manner of bad feelings. I didn't read them all exactly wrong...it was more like I read them right, but to the far extreme of my fears, if that makes sense. I'm not going to get into things here, it's longsince over.

The point is, I laid the cards aside after that. I'd been overwhelmed with new decks, misinterpretations, bad feelings, and a buncha negative woo.

I think I needed the break, though. I went for over a month without reading them, or even looking through any of my decks. I took the deck off my desk, and the one out of my purse, and just laid it all aside. Afterwhile, I began to crave contact with them. I began to think about them a lot, stare at the box, eventually pine for them. I still wasn't exactly ready, though. It was tough diving back in, I felt out of touch, intimidated, overwhelmed.

Not sure what got me to drag them back out, but I did. They slid back in my hand like I was born with them. Shuffling them still felt as natural as breathing. Very comforting.

I must have needed it, beacause since I've picked them back up, I'm reading much more naturally. I struggle less, it doesn't drain me like it used to, and the answers just happen. The other night, I was tired, but pulled a few cards for Luiz, and it felt like I was just making shit up about them. Turns out, I was dead on.

So glad to have them back in my life, in such a big way. So glad to have turned something negative into a series of lessons. Not to read for people present, unless they give specific permission, not to use them to defend my side of an arguement, and not to ask questions that I can ask someone in person.

New deck coming in the mail...Sacred Rose. More about that in another post, probably. I'm starting to get tired.