Trashy Novels

I haven't been devoting as much time and thought to scholarly reading and Tarot study as I'd like.

I've been wanting to journal the Sacred Rose, more, or actively (as opposed to passively) read Lon Milo Duquette's Understanding the Thoth. I have a burning urge to learn those cards inside and out, and get further into Crowley's head. I'm interested in the man, and his life. I might be obsessed, which is why I take his biography, and his writings in small doses. Otherwise, I start thinking of everything in relation to his teachings. It feels a little cloying, since I came to studying his works long after I've established my own dogma. I like learning, I like challenging myself, but I don't like thinking about things in a foreign manner. It's like the persona gets into my head and has different ideas about life. As far as journaling goes, that takes a peaceful household, and a sparkling mind, ready to channel energy from the cards, and the Universe. I have not been peaceful OR sparkling in a few days. There's always something to clean, somewhere to go, someone to answer to, something do do, that pulls my heart and mind away from my studies.

Hopefully, sleeping for 8 hours, last night (and let's hope for at least 7 tonight!) will help with the energy levels. Hopefully it will be sunny, and warm, tomorrow. Hopefully the house will be clean and relatively silent. Maybe then, I can do some more Sacred Rose meditations.

Honestly, I've been wanting to drag my tarot box to the table, and dig through it, greeting and shuffling every one of my decks, in turn. I want to place decks in the new bags I've gotten, and just spend time in a clerical way, with my cards. Not reading, as much as cataloging, studying, and hangning out.

Instead of the heavy scholarly stuff, I've been reading light-ish books. I'm finishing up the Kushiel series, by Jaqueline Carey. I'm in the last 5% of Kushiel's Justice, and about to start Kushiel's Mercy. I started reading these books because Schuyler suggested them, two years ago. I trust his suggestions, and wasn't dissapointed. I didn't think I would adore them. I even caught myself shedding some tears. I haven't been playing any video games at all lately, so this is my escape route. I'm in love with the setting, the characters, the language, the whole package. There's so much love here, so much tenderness, bitterness, pain, and hardship. These books explore the entire spectrum of emotions, through the eyes of very compelling characters.

As soon as I'm done here, I'm gonna go to bed, and probably finish up the book. Maybe I'll bring Duquette's book with me, and read a chapter from it, too.