Trashy Novels

I haven't been devoting as much time and thought to scholarly reading and Tarot study as I'd like.

I've been wanting to journal the Sacred Rose, more, or actively (as opposed to passively) read Lon Milo Duquette's Understanding the Thoth. I have a burning urge to learn those cards inside and out, and get further into Crowley's head. I'm interested in the man, and his life. I might be obsessed, which is why I take his biography, and his writings in small doses. Otherwise, I start thinking of everything in relation to his teachings. It feels a little cloying, since I came to studying his works long after I've established my own dogma. I like learning, I like challenging myself, but I don't like thinking about things in a foreign manner. It's like the persona gets into my head and has different ideas about life. As far as journaling goes, that takes a peaceful household, and a sparkling mind, ready to channel energy from the cards, and the Universe. I have not been peaceful OR sparkling in a few days. There's always something to clean, somewhere to go, someone to answer to, something do do, that pulls my heart and mind away from my studies.

Hopefully, sleeping for 8 hours, last night (and let's hope for at least 7 tonight!) will help with the energy levels. Hopefully it will be sunny, and warm, tomorrow. Hopefully the house will be clean and relatively silent. Maybe then, I can do some more Sacred Rose meditations.

Honestly, I've been wanting to drag my tarot box to the table, and dig through it, greeting and shuffling every one of my decks, in turn. I want to place decks in the new bags I've gotten, and just spend time in a clerical way, with my cards. Not reading, as much as cataloging, studying, and hangning out.

Instead of the heavy scholarly stuff, I've been reading light-ish books. I'm finishing up the Kushiel series, by Jaqueline Carey. I'm in the last 5% of Kushiel's Justice, and about to start Kushiel's Mercy. I started reading these books because Schuyler suggested them, two years ago. I trust his suggestions, and wasn't dissapointed. I didn't think I would adore them. I even caught myself shedding some tears. I haven't been playing any video games at all lately, so this is my escape route. I'm in love with the setting, the characters, the language, the whole package. There's so much love here, so much tenderness, bitterness, pain, and hardship. These books explore the entire spectrum of emotions, through the eyes of very compelling characters.

As soon as I'm done here, I'm gonna go to bed, and probably finish up the book. Maybe I'll bring Duquette's book with me, and read a chapter from it, too.

Zoomy

I'm feeling all brain zoomy, today. I want to journal more, spend more time with my new deck, but I can't even get a half hour. I'm thinking high, deep thoughts, and don't have the space mentally or physically to act on it.

I went walking in the garden today, and was very excited to discover that my lavender bush, after like, three years, is finally blooming! I've already got big plans, for the flowers. It does my heart worlds of good, to see my "babies" growing, thriving, and returning year after year, stronger, bigger, and better.


Luiz blogged about a dream that he had, regarding a haunted painting, that he exorcized, calling upon the Biblical God, to aid him. Interesting, and very powerful. I'm not going to recap it here, it's very detailed, and deep. In a nutshell, I feel like it's a signpost, a marker from the 'Verse, that he's entering into a new phase, spiritually. He has broken free of the oppressive bonds of the Witness peerage, and can appreciate his background in religious teaching, and choose from it what bouys him up, and enriches his spirituality, comfortably blending it with his new knowledge and mindset.


There's a lot more to it, but I am blogging here because we will be doing an in-depth reading about it, tonight. I might use my new deck, I might use one of my older ones. We'll see how it feels. I'm going all high magic, tonight. I'm clearing the room and creating the space. It's been awhile, and I feel the need to walk there.

Mostly, I'm blogging right now, beacuse I can't do any of the stuff I want to do, there's a houseful of yelling boys playing video games. Maybe I'll go back out and walk in the garden some more.