Much better, tonight

I got back to basics, tonight. Well, actually the opposite of basics. I set up a space, purified it, brought out the quartz ball, and some amythest points. I added mugwort, lavender, rose, sage, and balm of gilead to each deck bag. I addressed all my decks, and chose the one that felt right (Mystic Dreamer, how I love you so).

I sorted all the cards, turned them right side up, as a meditational excersise, and contemplated them. I seperated all the suits and the majors. Then I very slowly did the Seven Candle shuffle, then a few riffle shuffles, then just started moving the cards back and forth, in my hands. Around that time, everything went soft and unfocused, my trigger to tell me that I'm in Alpha, which is the ideal state for stuff like this. That's definitely one thing I've been missing, the meditative, spiritual aspect of readings. It's back, and whoa, what a reading. What a PAIR of readings.

First I did the "Getting to Know Myself" diamond spread, as recorded in my journal. It was so succesful. So on. So honest, and telling. I learned a lot, faced some of my uglyness, faced some truths. I felt so warm and good about myself, on both the mundane and spiritual levels, that I was ready to tackle the Thoth question again. I did a (now finally memorized, thank God) Celtic Cross spread, just to answer this, "What is my path, in regards to the Thoth"? Some suprises, there. Some things I wasn't sure of, till now. Overall very encouraging.

Some key points that I learned tonight:

- Cut out all the static from outside sources. Read the books. Hang around AT forums, but seperate the wheat from the chaff. Don't obsess over what people have to say, there.

- Learning the Thoth deck on Crowley's terms isn't for me. I am not interested in the OTO, nor the Thelema, nor the Golden Dawn's esotericness. I AM very interested in the deck, and the man, but I already have my own, well worn, wide open and clear path to enlightenment. I can and will embrace this deck, I will read the Book of Thoth, but I will do it with my own interpretations.

- Get back to Spirituality. I am a Witch, first and foremost. Don't forget what led me to these studies in the first place. Don't forget the forest, by obsessing over one tree.