A Crutch?

So, today, besides the time I spent writing here, and setting up this blog, has ranged from mildly cold and sad, to raging frustration, crying and flinging a sizzling pan of fried rice across the house. Long story, and not for this blog, really. The point is, it's a very stifling, cold, low energy, drudgy, unmotivated mood I'be been in. I can think of no reason, and a thousand reasons, but something needs to be done.

My first thought, was the cards. Now, I am a very spiritual, deep, ritualistic Witch. Normally, my first thoughts would be this: Drum cleaning. I would clean clean clean, getting out all the physical cobwebs, dust, and clutter, making everything shine and sparkle. Then, the first sunny not-too-cold day, throw open all the windows (briefly, as to not kill the spiders) and do a full house drum ritual, with accompanying purifying sage and sweetgrass smudging. This gets rid of the metaphysical cobwebs, dust, and clutter. I've been doing it periodically since I moved in here, and it works a treat. Of course, as soon as I seized on it, I decided to do it.

Why, though, did I think of the cards first? What can they do for me? Am I obsessing? They won't really genuinely make me feel better, they'll answer my questions, give me something to do, but I can't find real honest comfort in a tool. Which is what they are. I'm tending to personify them, more, which is ok, because they do have genuine energy, attributes, and are developing certan vibes...but they are paper and ink. Paper and ink.

Since this whole cards thing hit me, during my annual "Looking through the Veil" Halloween ritual, I have been kind of shelving actual ritual and meditation, my standby sane-haven. My communion with God/dess. My little tributes and prayers, every day. Well, not that, I still pray, but anything more involved than that has fallen by the wayside.

I have to learn to successfully combine the two. I have to work both into my life, so that one can benefit the other, that IS what tarot is for, after all. I cannot lose sight of that.