I want it all, and I want it now!

A tale of when that works, and when it doesn't.  Names WAY changed.


Charlotte has gracefully come through a period in her life where she extracted herself out of an abusive marriage, came to terms with the death of her father (her idol, her mentor), and navigated a strange old/new budding romance.  She wrote a memoir.  She's about to be published.  This romance is what I'm addressing here.  It's tricky.  He's high profile (like, if I said his name, 90% of you would go "oh shit...that guy?" ) and they were close friends before fame.  She turned him down 30 years ago, romantically.  He went on to have painfully loveless marriage.  She is the heart in his life, they reconnected after her father died, and many years later, the chemistry is strong.  She wrote the book for herself, about her life, incidentally mentioning this whole thing.  It's going to come out soon, and she's not doing it to be sordid, she just wanted to write her story.  She's completely guile-less. I know what you're thinking, that she's doing it for attention/money/any number of self aggrandizing reasons.  Nope.  She wrote her memoir, focusing on her journey and three prominent men in her life, her husband her father and this guy.  She loves him. The communicate often, and it's very sweet, like high school romantic, even though they're both pushing 60.  They're slowly coming together, with this book being a catalyst.  He's married, but it's publically loveless.  It's a known thing.  His wife hates him, but loves the society life.  His wife knows about this, but doesn't give a fuck.  It's really fascinating, I've known Charlotte for about 7 months, reading for her quite frequently.  I know pretty much everything about her life, her family, her motivations, her dreams and fears.  She's in love, he's in love with her, and the divines shine upon it. It's the kind of uplifting love that will better everyone involved, and it's for the greater good.  Like, art will stem from this romance.  It already has.  She's going for it, with blessings from the universe.


Danielle is her sister.  She's in love with a higher up at work, a classic office crush.  She's very much in love with this man, we'll call him Cole.  He's also super married, with old money involved, lots of family almost an arranged marriage situation, young children.  She's so in love.  The guy is a good guy, moral, great job, stable, intelligent, witty, handsome, I mean a real genuinely caring and good man.  Also married.  And, being a good man, he's not at all willing to cheat on his wife.  Danielle is so in love with him.  She's been infatuated for over a year.  He has told her, point blank "please don't text me, unless it has to do with the job" and things like "I know what you want, and I can't give you what you want." I've been reading for her for 7 months, too.  But, you know what?  I don't know a ton about her.  I know about her infatuation with Cole, because even though we spend at least an hour a week together on average, it's not so much about her life, hopes, dreams, but Cole Cole Cole.  What's he thinking? Why did he go to Mexico this week? Is he with his wife? Is he having fun in Mexico?  Is he thinking of me?  He likes blondes, is he flirting with that new girl Lauren?  I have told her before that she needs to maybe focus on herself, and stop chasing this whole thing.  Like, if it were meant to be, it would happen.  For her to find her interests again, because like her sister, she's intelligent, well rounded, great conversationalist, lots of cool interests...but for the past year, she's become less of herself because of this infatuation.  It's like, "honey, when was the last time you went for a swim, or pulled out your watercolors?"  Hardly ever, because she's hanging around Cole's after work watering holes, hoping for a sighting.  Working insane overtime, just to be close to him.   She feels like this whole thing was Meant To Be.  That he is The One. Mr. Right. Mr. Forever. Guided by the arrows of Cupid, absolutely destined, her guardian angels all agree.   I genuinely care for her.  I pulled cards today, and had to look her in the eye and tell her point blank that this isn't love anymore, it's a flat out obsession, and that she's trying to validate it with all this high moral shit, but it's just straight up her desire.  I want him and I don't care, I want him I want him I want him *stomp foot*.  This is lust for results.  This is trying to have all your needs met, regardless of any other parties involved.  She's going for it, with no real love involved.  No love for herself (why would you throw yourself at a brick wall for so long?  That's fucking torture) and no real love for Cole, because if she loved him, she'd know him, recognize that he's happy and not going anywhere.  I mean, I never met the guy, but I have him figured out better, because my vision isn't clouded by lust.  She's going for it, and it's costing her so much.